13th month

wow, time travels REAL fast. my baby noelle now turn from baby into toddler, a very young child. well, still infant or baby if you rely on clothing labels and airplane tickets who listed 0-24 months as baby, and 2year above as child. but i saw in my baby formula, NAN HA for toddler 1-3 year.. and factually, i won't call noelle as a baby because she's now so big, growing tall, walking on her own, loves to play and tease me as well as if i am her friend. that's not a baby, that's young person, my little friend. i keep saying that everytime i look at her :)

in the same time last year, noelle was 1 month, a little baby, interested only in feeding, crying, sleeping, bathing, changing, and cuddling.. now that she is 13 month, she thinks she can do -almost- anything, and trying to speak up for herself. not verbally but you'll get it.

other parents said to me, taking care of toddler needs strength and patience because they like have unexhausted source of energy which parents or carer usually can not catch up. yep, that's correct. our routine now changed as she likes it. three times nap during the day become only one nap, a short one. our small apartment now become her wonderland. she loves to go from one room to another, inspecting the surrounding, pick up something from the floor, climbing on the furniture, checking out the drawer, peeking into the front loading washing machine, even locked herself in a room and then crying for help -LOL!-.

i watched her when she play with her toys, or "talking" with herself in the mirror. she has not speak yet, but she babbled to her toys and mirror image as if she's telling stories to them. another time, she cried and i asked her about the matter and she pointing to underneath the TV unit and babbling about something in different tone and facial expression, and then i asked my self, "is she talking to me and trying explain something?" so i bend on my knees and check the pointed place, turns out there are 3 objects of different shapes and colors lying helplessly. she must be threw them and they got stuck because her short arm cant reach them.. OH.. now you're talking, girl.. :)

i like to play with her, especially the game "catch me if you can" which means i chase her around or vice versa. my little daredevil also loves to play roughouse, swinged from right to left, back to front, held up high to touch the ceiling lamp, and being held on her tigh so she hang upside down.. i thought she was gonna frighten and scream, turn out she just laughed and giggle.

oh yeah, that giggle! she has this special giggle that makes you feel like you did something stupid/silly and deserve to be laughing at while in fact you did/said nothing like that. i never thought to record it on video, but will do before the giggle disappear forever.

two nights ago, she cant sleep on her own so i voluntarily wrapped her in her old babywrap and cuddle her and then gently rocked her to sleep. she always loves it, enjoying herself with her eyes closed and 5 minutes later she was sleeping.. and ME smiling + thinking, i am carrying a LIVE BOLSTER, 14kg bolster. 10 kilos heavier from her birthweight, 30 cm taller than her birth height..

oh baby, why are you growing up so fast?? ehem, this is an inconsistent question, actually.. because on the other day, i wished that she grow up fast, taking care of herself so i can be ME again. selfish mind that comes from a tired body!!

baby noelle, now that you're a big girl.
i know you want to be independent, but at the same time you scared of it all.
i know you want my help, but at the same time you dont want it.
your tantrums the other day showed me that.
i know, just in a matter of time, you'll learn how to express your feeling in a better way.
grow up with me, baby..
i am here,
on your constant beck and call..
24-7, 52 weeks, 12 months, 365 days, 100 years
i am yours.